When I passed the audition in one prestigious dance competition, a talent manager gave his calling card to me. He also asked me to text him so he could get me into some rackets. I was having some second thoughts, and was not really planning to text him. Well, he is gay, stranger, etc. But having some talks with his talents, of course with doubts, I found out he's quite respectful. I then decided to take my chance with him. He had given me rackets already and last night was an experience and indeed an eye opener for me... literally. Well, I passed the audition along with some other guys and girls. When we were waiting for the show to start, a girl caught my attention 'coz the talent managers beside me were whispering things about her. Overhearing their talk, it then got me into thinking. The girl was unquestionably beautiful, but I will never let myself fall in love with such a liberated girl... not to another one. The show was about to start and so we started fitting some clothes. The fitting room of the girls is the same of us guys. Although there's a comfort room, 2 of the girls were just fitting in the open. They're even the ones who have the most gorgeous body. One has a cup D, which she, without hesitation, announced when she was asked what the size of them is. The other one was the liberated girl, who really is the favorite among the girls because of her body. Well, I was overwhelmed, honestly speaking. I was trying to act professionally, but, of course, I was taking a look from time to time... stealthily... just can't resist taking a look. : ) Anyway, they were changing their clothes just by their dresser throughout. But then, I was even more surprised at the end of the show. This time, the favorite girl was changing her panty... yes, in the open... but she was facing the dresser and was sitting, therefore no one could see her thing. So much for the effort huh?! Of course I was looking at her, but deep inside, with a pity. It reminds me of the great persons I have loved in the past that seem to be blind with the beauty of their mind and body. They just disparage their bodies and use them to have that ephemeral happiness. I can only wish now that somehow I have made them change even for a little extent. It's just sad that, sometimes it is the others who value more the being of a person than that who possess it... As we were waiting for our pay, one of the managers asked my way home. I answered him and suddenly he asked the girl I was just staring at a while ago to maybe go along with me since she's also going my way. The girl asked me then if she could go along. Being a gentleman, I said yes, but, and gulping. She suggested going to a dance bar and so we went. Even before I exchange my stab in the bar area we went somewhere else. I would say the night was really fun. I have always known the distinction of the hugs between from the person I love and from I don't, but this time, it's different. I feel like I love this person already even though I don't. It was great, so to speak. We were laughing and having fun. We were carefree. I was enjoying the whole night even though the girl seems to be kind of ditsy and have really outré behavior. I was smiling quite the whole time... but then, it ended as soon as she got off my car. After the fun, as I've expected there's nothing left with me, other than the glass we stole from the event and the urge to feel the fun again. The night was addicting... addicting 'coz it's like a methamphetamine. You'll take it because of what others say about it and because of curiosity. The temptation is really hard to resist. Once you've taken it, you'll get so high about the feeling it gives you. The feeling then helps you not to think rationally. Not thinking rationally, evil things then become seemingly ok. Still high with the feeling, not thinking rationally, and now, doing the evil things, you realize that it's fun… unaware that it's fun only because you're high of the feeling, which is the reason that helps you not to think of the consequences of your actions. When you get used to with the feeling and the high is over, the rational mind comes back. The reality then divulges... reality bites. We may have minimal experiences, like what I just had, that have drawn us closer to evil things or, maybe have had big experiences that made us do something really evil, they do tell us many things. One is these experiences illustrate to us the difference between joy and happiness. Strive for fleeting happiness from these kinds of "addicting" experiences or do things that will give lasting joy... be pathetic or be wise. Being weak at times is inevitable, perhaps. But failures must not make us stop... it's not the sign to stop. We can always try to be stronger the next time around, and we must. So what's the sign of stopping? It's when you're not breathing anymore...
